This is 45

45. No makeup. Fresh from yoga.

I cringe as I write that age. For the first time in my life, I have some strong feelings about my age. I have always been super excited about birthdays, making a HUGE deal of them year after year.

37. Yes, I had dark hair for a few years.

36. A goodie.

33. Hands-down the best birthday party.

Now that kids are in the mix, and I am well into my 40's, my birthday parties have fallen short. Except for last year, that was an excellent birthday (reminded me of years past with several different fun activities).


My 40th was pretty special, too, as that was the year I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.

I shouldn't let my kids, or my age affect the quality of my birthdays. I should keep up the tradition of spectacular birthdays because celebrating truly makes me happy. Maybe I should plan all of my birthdays to keep the momentum going!

Anyway, 45 was a tough one. I am now well on my way to 50, which seems surreal. When I look in the mirror, although there are more wrinkles, I cannot belive I am actually 45. But, I am. And I have a 4 year old daughter, and a 2 1/2 year old son and advanced stage arthritis in my thumb, which is super debilitatiing.

I refuse to belive it is because of age and more so because of past sports injuries (skiing and softball injuries to the same thumb)

Surgery is inevitable, but recovery is long, so I need to wait until the babes are just a little bit older and more self sufficient. In the meantime, I get regular cortisone injections (which hurt like a mothher) to give me enough relief to go about my daily life.

Buuuut, I am 45 and as I head into the second half of my life (does that make me officially middle aged?), I vow to live it better than my first. Yes, the first 45 were great: I did a lot, saw a lot, accomplished a lot, and learned a lot. But, now I have my own family, am settled into a career that I fucking love, have become mindful with spending, stick to a budget, am decluttering my life, and have big dreams and goals that I KNOW can happen. I would say that I am finally mature (okay, not 100%, but definitely feeling like somewhat of a grown up).

45 may sound old, and it may seem like the fun years are over, but when I really break down life, I would say I am entering my glory years. Hot damn, I am excited!!

Who is excited with me!??

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